Emerson: ZzzzzWOOF. WOOF.
Me: What’s up?
Emerson: Something is Not Right. I need to go outside on patrol right now. WOOF.
Me: Okay. Let’s go out together.
Emerson: The sound is coming from the sky. WOOF It must be Dementors again. WOOF WOOF. Don’t worry Mama. I will sit in front of you and protect you from the Dementors. WOOF WOOF AROOOOO.
Me: Hey there’s a Peregrine Falcon in that tree over there! Cool! And it’s talking to another one in the distance somewhere north of here.
Emerson: Oh, yes, that’s what it is. Falcons, not Dementors. They sound very similar.
Me: That seems rather unlikely.
Emerson: Mama, you can’t see or hear Dementors because you are a Muggle. You will just have to trust me.
Lord Dormir: And what sort of a time do you call this, young lady?
Me: Um… looks like 3 am.
Lord Dormir: And where exactly have you been?
Me: I went to see the midnight opening of the last Harry Potter movie.
Lord Dormir: Well I have been worried sick about you. I will sit on your chest now. I suggest you pet me until you have learned your lesson. And you can tell your friend Harry he is in big trouble also.
**Original post from July 15, 2011
Me: What was that about?
Emerson: I thought I heard something outside. WOOF. I need to go outside and investigate. WOOF WOOF.
Emerson: *runs outside* WOOF. WOOF WOOF WOOF. WOOF.
Me: Emerson, come back inside. You’ll annoy all the neighbors!
Emerson: It’s okay Mama, I scared them away.
Me: Scared what away?
Emerson: The Dementors.
Me: Emerson I didn’t see anything out there. I am pretty sure it was just the wind.
Emerson: Of course you didn’t see anything Mama. Muggles can’t see Dementors.
Me: Of course. But what if they come back? I can’t do magic so I won’t be able to conjure a Patronus.
Emerson: It’s okay Mama. I will be your Patronus.
Me: I’m going to Universal Studios today. I get to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!
Mother Nature: Oh yeah? *torrential rains all day long*
Me: Well… at least the lines will be short.
** Originally posted on Facebook January 17, 2011