Tag Archives: Harry Potter

The Marauder’s Map of my Backyard (cartoon)

This is an arial representation of our backyard. It's huge.

To illustrate its size, this is our 140-pound dog, Emerson.

"This is our yard after the first big snowfall of the year."

"This is our yard two MONTHS later." (tiny area of footprints, only around the house)

"As you can see, Emerson is not very adventurous."

"This is how our yard looked two DAYS after Wordsworth came to live with us."

(Entire yard covered in footprints).

"To summarize, in the style of a popular book and film series:"

Wordsworth, wearing a collar and leash in Gryffindor colors: "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs present The Marauder's Map of my backyard

Emerson, wearing Hufflepuff colors: "Mischief Managed."

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The curious case of mistaken indentity

Emerson: ZzzzzWOOF. WOOF.

Me: What’s up?

Emerson: Something is Not Right. I need to go outside on patrol right now. WOOF.

Me: Okay. Let’s go out together.

Emerson: The sound is coming from the sky. WOOF It must be Dementors again. WOOF WOOF. Don’t worry Mama. I will sit in front of you and protect you from the Dementors. WOOF WOOF AROOOOO.

Me: Hey there’s a Peregrine Falcon in that tree over there! Cool! And it’s talking to another one in the distance somewhere north of here.

Emerson: Oh, yes, that’s what it is. Falcons, not Dementors. They sound very similar.

Me: That seems rather unlikely.

Emerson: Mama, you can’t see or hear Dementors because you are a Muggle. You will just have to trust me.

You’re late. Very very late.

Lord Dormir: And what sort of a time do you call this, young lady?

Me: Um… looks like 3 am.

Lord Dormir: And where exactly have you been?

Me: I went to see the midnight opening of the last Harry Potter movie.

Lord Dormir: Well I have been worried sick about you. I will sit on your chest now. I suggest you pet me until you have learned your lesson. And you can tell your friend Harry he is in big trouble also.

**Original post from July 15, 2011

Patronus

Me: *reading*
Emerson: WOOF.
Me: What was that about?
Emerson: I thought I heard something outside. WOOF. I need to go outside and investigate. WOOF WOOF.
Me: Okay.
Emerson: *runs outside* WOOF. WOOF WOOF WOOF. WOOF.
Me: Emerson, come back inside. You’ll annoy all the neighbors!
Emerson: It’s okay Mama, I scared them away.
Me: Scared what away?
Emerson: The Dementors.
Me: Emerson I didn’t see anything out there. I am pretty sure it was just the wind.
Emerson: Of course you didn’t see anything Mama. Muggles can’t see Dementors.
Me: Of course. But what if they come back? I can’t do magic so I won’t be able to conjure a Patronus.
Emerson: It’s okay Mama. I will be your Patronus.

Me vs Mother Nature

Me: I’m going to Universal Studios today. I get to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!
Mother Nature: Oh yeah? *torrential rains all day long*
Me: Well… at least the lines will be short.

** Originally posted on Facebook January 17, 2011

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