Wordsworth: Hey Mama, what are you putting into that bag?
Me: A swimsuit and a change of clothes. Daughter and I are going to see some friends at their family’s lake house.
Wordsworth: I don’t think I know what a lake is but I can’t wait to find out!
Me: Sorry buddy, but we can’t bring you with us. Maybe another time.
Wordsworth: Oh. I see how it is. So I’m just gonna go ahead and stare at you pathetically through the window as you back out of the driveway. We’ll see how much you’ll enjoy your trip to the lake WITHOUT ME.
Son: Sheesh, it’s like something out of a horror story. “The house has been abandoned for years, but on fine summer days, people still see the ghost of a yellow lab staring sadly out the window at them.”
Selby: *pant pant pant*
Clock: It’s 6 am.
Me: Did you need something Selby?
Selby: Oh good morning Kari, how nice to see you awake! What a lovely surprise!
Me: I’m only awake because you have been panting in my face for 5 minutes.
Selby: I’m glad it worked! Since you’re up would you mind getting me some breakfast?
Scouty and Sammy: Play fetch?
Me: Okay. *throws ball*
Scouty: I’ll get it, Kari!
Sammy: No I will get it!
Scouty: Okay I give up.
Sammy: HAHA OLD MAN YOU ARE TOO SLOW! *gets ball*
Me: Good job, now bring it here so I throw it again!
Sammy: *drops ball*
Me: Um, Sammy, that’s 3 feet away. You’re supposed to bring it TO me.
Sammy: Beggars can’t be choosers, Kari. If you wanted the ball over there you should have gotten it yourself.
Scouty: I would have brought it all the way there.
Emerson: What’s the matter Mama? You don’t seem like yourself.
Me: I don’t feel well today. I came home early from work because I’m sick.