Monthly Archives: September, 2017

Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Sir Oliver standing on the porch next to the door, staring at the camera through the slats in the railing.

ME: Um, hey, Sir Oliver. What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be outside without my daughter. 

SIR OLIVER: I’m just as surprised as you are. I was just minding my own business, walking around the kitchen, when suddenly I found myself outside. I certainly didn’t go outside alone on purpose, because I know that is not allowed and I would never, ever break the rules.

ME: Except for all the times you’ve snuck out in the past. And all the times you have jumped on the counter. And all the times you…

SIR OLIVER: You have no proof that I ever did any of that. 

ME: Shall I show you pictures?

SIR OLIVER: Just shut up and open the door, Columbo. 

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