Do Dogs Have Miranda Rights?

WORDSWORTH: Welcome home, Mama!

ME: Thank you Wordsworth! What have you been up to while I was away?

WORDSWORTH: Oh nothing much. Just hanging out in my kennel. You know how much I love my kennel.

ME: Oh really? You didn’t by any chance take a nap on my bed?

WORDSWORTH: Why on earth would you think that?

ME: I don’t know, just a hunch. Also, my pillow is covered in short, yellow hairs. 

WORDSWORTH: Those could be anyone’s.

ME: Riiiiiiight. Except you’re the only one in the house who has short yellow fur.

WORDSWORTH: Circumstantial evidence. I want a lawyer.

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