Wordsworth: Mama, can I sit with you on the bed?
Me: Sure. Sit right here so I can scratch your neck for you. Say, your collar has gotten a bit tight; let me fix that for you.
Wordsworth: MAMA WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN’T TAKE MY COLLAR OFF, IT’S PART OF ME!!! GIVE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW.
Me: Whoa, calm down. I just need to loosen it for you a little bit. See? I’m all done, and I will put it back on now.
Wordsworth: Oh man, that was a close one. For a second there, I thought you were kicking me out of the family.
Me: Don’t be silly. I might take your collar off before giving you a bath, but I would not kick you out of the family. We all love you too much.
Wordsworth: Did you say BATH? That might be even worse than being homeless again. Man, I really dodged a bullet there.