Emerson, Lord and Protector

Doorbell: *dingdong*

Emerson: OMG THERE WAS A NOISE IN THE KITCHEN I HAVE TO SEE WHAT IT WAS THERE IS NOTHING IN HERE BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK

Me: Emerson the doorbell sound is in the kitchen, but it means there’s someone at the front door. It’s probably the washing machine repair guy. *opens front door*

Repair guy: Hello.

Emerson: OMG THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR DON’T WORRY MAMA I WILL PROTECT YOU BARKBARKBARK

Me: Ignore him, Repair Guy, he’s all talk.

Emerson: BARKBARK

Me: The washing machine is down here in the basement. If you need anything, I’ll be upstairs.

Repair Guy: Okay.

Emerson: BARKBARK.

*later*

Repair Guy (on the phone): Hello? Blahblahblahrepairtalk.

Emerson: OMG THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE BASEMENT DON’T WORRY MAMA I WILL PROTECT YOU BARKBARKBARKBARK.

Me: Seriously? It’s the same guy. I know he’s there because I brought him down there, remember?

Emerson: BARK.

Me: I guess it’s comforting to know that no one will be able to sneak into our house.

Emerson: That’s what I’m here for. That and the free food.

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