Lord Dormir, certified sleep therapist

Lord Dormir: What are you doing?
Me: Um, sitting in bed, playing games on my phone. Also, Facebook and Twitter.
Lord Dormir: Studies have shown that using electronic devices prior to bedtime makes it more difficult to fall asleep and can lead to insomnia. Just saying.
Me: What studies? Name one.
Lord Dormir: Cat studies. I’m sure you wouldn’t have heard of them. Very well-respected among cats.
Me: Uh-huh.
Lord Dormir: Studies have also shown that petting cats is relaxing, and can therefore help cure insomnia.
Sir Oliver: It is known.
Me: Right. I’ll just be getting back to what I was doing then.
Lord Dormir: If you’re not going to make a serious effort to sleep, then I’m going to nap on your pillow.
Me: Do you have to take up the WHOLE pillow?
Lord Dormir: Yes. Otherwise, how will you learn?

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