Monthly Archives: January, 2013

Cold enough for ya?

Me: Man, it is really cold outside.

Selby: Did you say “OUTSIDE”? I like to go outside! Can I please go outside?

Me: Okay but it’s 16 degrees below zero. That’s very cold.

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How the heck did he know?

WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS WHEN I LET THE DOGS OUTSIDE:
Me: Outside?
Selby: YES PLEASE!
Emerson: Okay I guess.
*A few minutes later*
Emerson: Okay I’m done can I come in now?
Me: Yes you can come in. Selby, time to come inside.
Selby: Oh. Okay I guess. *pout*

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LET THE DOGS OUTSIDE JUST BEFORE I GO OUT OF TOWN WITHOUT THEM:
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Emerson, Lord and Protector

Doorbell: *dingdong*

Emerson: OMG THERE WAS A NOISE IN THE KITCHEN I HAVE TO SEE WHAT IT WAS THERE IS NOTHING IN HERE BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK

Me: Emerson the doorbell sound is in the kitchen, but it means there’s someone at the front door. It’s probably the washing machine repair guy. *opens front door*

Repair guy: Hello.

Emerson: OMG THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR DON’T WORRY MAMA I WILL PROTECT YOU BARKBARKBARK

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Lord Dormir, certified sleep therapist

Lord Dormir: What are you doing?
Me: Um, sitting in bed, playing games on my phone. Also, Facebook and Twitter.
Lord Dormir: Studies have shown that using electronic devices prior to bedtime makes it more difficult to fall asleep and can lead to insomnia. Just saying.
Me: What studies? Name one.
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