Me: Guess what, Lord Dormir?
Lord Dormir: You invented an automatic cat-petting machine?
Me: Uhh… no. But I did buy you a new jacket to replace the old fleece one which is all worn out.
Lord Dormir: Historically this has not worked out in my favor.
Me: Well, I think this one is really cute. Also, very festive.
Lord Dormir: Alright, let’s see it then.
Lord Dormir: If you make me wear this, I will knead you repeatedly in the exact same spot until your skin turns black and blue.
Me: First of all, how is that different from any other day? Secondly, totally worth it.
Lord Dormir: Fine, I’ll wear it. But you are not putting my picture in the blog.
Me: Too late.
Lord Dormir: I’m calling the ASPCA.
Me: This is the cutest jacket of all time. Obviously they’ll side with me.