Emerson: Mama, you are wearing a swishy shirt. Swishy shirts mean The Dog Bath Place.
Me: Yes, Emerson. I work at the groomer’s later today.
Emerson: I hope you are not planning to sneak out without me like you did on Saturday.
Me: No, I will be bringing you to the groomer’s with me when I go.
Emerson: Good. Hey, where are you going?
Me: The bathroom.
Emerson: Don’t go without me!
Me: I do not require your assistance in the bathroom. You can wait in the kitchen.
Emerson: Okay but I will sit right by the door so you don’t sneak out without me knowing.
*later in the bedroom*
Daughter: Hi Emerson!
Emerson: WAIT! If you pet me now and Mama decides to leave, I might miss it. Let me move closer to Mama first. *moves 3 inches closer* Okay, now you can pet me.
*later in the living room*
Emerson: OMG you moved. Are you leaving? Don’t leave without me!
Me: I am not going anywhere. I am just adjusting myself into a more comfortable reading position.
Emerson: PHWEW! That was a close one!
Me: This is just ridiculous. Next time I’m not going to put on my grooming shirt until it’s time to go to work.
Emerson: Did you say “work”? OMG DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!!!!