The first step is admitting you have a problem

Me: Selby, we need to talk.
Selby: What is this, an intervention?
Me: Yes, actually, it is. I am concerned about your addiction to tissues.
Selby: I’m not addicted to tissues.
Me: Oh really? Remember a couple of weeks ago, when Daughter caught you pulling the tissues out of the box one at a time to eat them?
Selby: That’s just one time. That doesn’t mean anything.
Me: I have also caught you chewing on tissues numerous times in the last several months.
Selby: Fair point. But I could quit any time.
Me: Really? Because this morning I caught you eating a tissue in my room.
Selby: So?
Me: You stole it out of the trash can in my bedroom. I think it’s safe to say you’ve hit bottom when you’re stealing used tissues out of the garbage just to get a fix.
Selby: Whatever. It’s not like you were using it at the time.

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2 responses

  1. Omg my dogs (especially Dutch) do this too!

    Like

  2. […] liked to eat all kinds of things, including non-food products like tissues. She didn’t care if they were new or used, they were all delicious to her. Once I walked into […]

    Like

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