How to Bathe a Saint Bernard

Me: Okay Selby, I’m all done with work now. Let’s get you ready for summer by cutting your toenails and trimming the thick fur on the back of your legs.

Selby: Thanks Mama! You’re the best. That feels so much better!

Me: You’re welcome! Now hop in the tub Selby.

Selby: ARE YOU NUTS? That’s where you put dogs to give them baths.

Me: Yes I know. It’s time for your bath.

Selby: Baths mean water. You know I don’t like to get wet. I’m just going to lie down here instead.

Teah: Would you like some help lifting her into the tub?

Me: That would be great. One-two-three-lift. Thank you!

Selby: *sigh* Alright fine. You can give me a bath, but I will stand here and look pathetic until you’re done. That will teach you a lesson.

Me: Boy, that’s really making my job difficult. Well done Selby.

Selby: Are you mocking me?

Me: Maybe just a little.

Selby: Just for that, I am going to shake myself and get all this water on you too.

[Editor’s note: This is a series of conversations I wrote on my other blog last summer, when I brought Selby to work at the groomer’s with me.]

One response

  1. […] would go out. Only for exactly as long as it took to pee, and then she would come right back in. Bathtime turned her into the saddest dog of all time. However, she really loved to ride in the car. A car ride would cancel out the horror of a bath any […]


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