Monthly Archives: September, 2012

Daddy’s Girl (with photo)

Me: We’re home!

Selby: Yay! I love home! Oh look it’s Papa! I haven’t seen him in 8 hours. That’s almost practically FOREVER! PAPA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Ian: Hi Selby! Did you have a good time at the groomer’s?

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How to Bathe a Saint Bernard

Me: Okay Selby, I’m all done with work now. Let’s get you ready for summer by cutting your toenails and trimming the thick fur on the back of your legs.

Selby: Thanks Mama! You’re the best. That feels so much better!

Me: You’re welcome! Now hop in the tub Selby.

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A Drama Queen gets a Pedicure

Chihuahua: Hi Kari. What do you have in your hand there?

Me: It’s a nail trimmer.

Chihuahua: I see. And what are you going to do with it?

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Who doesn’t love dogs?

Selby:  Hi Mama, what are you doing?

Me: I’m holding this cat.

Selby: Why are you holding the cat?

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Emerson is too smart for his own good

Me: *packing a suitcase*
Emerson: Hi Mama, what are you doing?
Me: Um. Nothing. Just putting some clothes and things in a box.
Emerson: You can’t fool me, Mama. You are going on A Trip.
Me: Why on Earth would you say that?
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Saint Bernard love

Teah (a coworker): Hi everyone! Oooh, I love Saint Bernards. Selby you are a pretty dog!

Selby: Thank you! As a reward for your kind words, you may scratch my belly.

Teah:  I’d be delighted to scratch your belly.

Selby:  Of course you would. Everyone loves to scratch my belly. A little to the left.

[Editor’s note: This is a series of conversations I wrote on my other blog last summer, when I brought Selby to work at the groomer’s with me.]

Separation Anxiety

[Editor’s note: This is a series of conversations I wrote on my other blog last summer, when I brought Selby to work at the groomer’s with me.]

Customer:  Good morning! I’ve brought my dog in for his haircut.

Shih Tzu: OMG DAD PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO IN THERE! I HATE THE GROOMER!

Customer: It’s ok, they’ll get you all cleaned up so you won’t be so hot anymore!

Shih Tzu: Ok fine, I’ll go in.

Selby: WOW it’s another dog! I haven’t seen another dog since Scouty and Bandit came in 5 minutes ago! HI LITTLE DOG!!

Shih Tzu: Um… hi. You’re weird.

Customer: Ok, I’ll see you later!

Shih Tzu: Wait a minute… where are you going? OMG DAD PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE WITH THIS WEIRD DOG!! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD [Customer leaves] Oh is he gone?

Me: Yes, he just left.

Shih Tzu: Oh, thank goodness I can stop barking and scratching at the door now.

Me: If you don’t mind being here, why did you make such a big deal about it?

Shih Tzu: Well, how else will he know I love him if I don’t make a huge fuss about him leaving me?

The Orange Dagger demonstrates his greatest superpower

Invisibility, obviously.

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