Summer sausage

Me: That fart was so loud I think the neighbors heard it.
Selby: Oh was it? I didn’t notice. Excuse me.
Me: Oof Selby, why does your gas smell like summer sausage?!
Selby: I don’t know. I WISH it was because I ate some but I didn’t. Because SOMEONE doesn’t think dogs should eat sausage.
Me: This is exactly why. If it smells this bad when you’re not eating sausage, how much worse would it be if you ate some?
Selby: I think the bigger question is if you think my gas smells bad when it smells like summer sausage, why would you eat summer sausage?
Me: You’ve just ruined summer sausage for me.
Sellby: That’s too bad. Next time someone gives you summer sausage, you can give it to me.

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