The great debate

Me: Would you guys like to go for a ride in the car?
Selby: Yes of course! I love car rides! *jumps in car*
Emerson: Ok I guess. I prefer the van, but I just want to be where you are, Mama. *gets into car*
Me: Um, Selby? Why are you in my seat?
Selby: I want to drive this time.
Me: You can’t drive. Get in the back seat.
Selby: Why not?
Me: You don’t have a driver’s license. Get in the back seat.
Selby: Well then I will borrow yours.
Me: It doesn’t work that way. Get in the back.
Selby: Then I will get one.
Me: You can’t get a driver’s license. Get. In. The. Back.
Selby: Why not?
Me: Because you’re a dog. Also you’re only 7. You have to be at least 14 just to get a permit. In the back.
Selby: That’s totally unfair. I’m a smart dog. I could do it. And 7 is like 70 in St Bernard years.
Me: Also you have to pass an eye exam, which includes reading. And dogs can’t read because you don’t have enough cones in your eyes. You can’t argue with basic anatomy and physiology. Trust me, I’m a vet tech.
Selby: *SIGH* Okay Mama I will go in the back. But I am going to drool on your arm the whole time we’re driving and I won’t even feel bad about it.
Emerson: Thank goodness that’s over. I just want to get going so we can get home again.

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