You shouldn’t have been sitting there

Me: Hello Sir Oliver, what are you doing?

Sir Oliver: What does it look like I am doing? I am sitting on the back of the couch, glaring through the window at those birds in the backyard.

Me: I see. Well, I’m just going to sit here on the couch and watch TV.

Sir Oliver: Whatever. *chuffs at birds* Hmm. These birds do not seem to understand how angry they have made me. Perhaps I should flick my tail at them as well as chuffing.

Me: I guess you could give that a try.

Sir Oliver: *flick* *flick* *FLICK*

Me: PHTBKTHLM, you totally hit me in the face with your tail.

Sir Oliver: Well it’s not my fault. You should have sat on the other couch.

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