Monthly Archives: April, 2012

Hot Dog

Emerson: What’s that in your hand Mama?

Me: It’s a hot dog.

Selby: What are you going to do with it?

Me: I was planning on eating it.

Selby: Oh. Well, we’re right here if you change your mind.

Emerson: Yes, we are right beside you. You know, just in case you don’t think you can finish the whole thing.

Me: Pretty sure I can manage.

Selby: Okay. But just so you know.

Me: Right.

Emerson: Also, I’m more than qualified when it comes to eating. See how well I open and close my mouth?

Me: Uh-huh.

Emerson: *om nom nom*

Me: What are you doing now?

Emerson: Just practicing my chewing. *om nom nom nom*

Sort of

Me: Hello Emerson! Would you like to sit up on the bed with me?

Emerson: Sort of.

Me: I don’t think you can “sort of” sit on the bed. Either you’re on the bed or you’re not.

Emerson: Of course I can sort of be on the bed. Watch. *steps onto bed with front feet and lies down, but leaves back feet on the floor.* See?

Me: Well I guess I was wrong. But that can’t really be that comfortable.

Emerson: Wrong again! It’s very cozy! Though it would be even cozier if someone would scratch my neck.
Hint hint.

Two’s a crowd (sorry, no photo this time)

Me: Okay guys, time to go back to work. Into your kennels.

Emerson: Okay! *galumph, galumph*

Selby: Um. Mama? He went in MY kennel.

Me: Why don’t you go in his kennel? It’s bigger anyway.

Selby: But his pillows are arranged all wrong and it doesn’t smell like me!

Me: …

Selby: Nope, there’s only one solution to this problem. *goes in her kennel with Emerson*

Emerson: Oof. Kinda crowded in here.

Me: OMG I need a picture of this.

Emerson: Ok fine I’ll go in my own kennel. Just don’t take a picture.

Me: I wish my camera didn’t take so long to start up. The internet would have loved that one.

** Original post from October 25, 2011

Emerson is featured in someone else’s blog

Today Emerson is making an appearance on a friend’s blog, doing something he does regularly when we’re at the groomer’s. He always likes to be wherever I am, but sometimes he is just gets in the way so I have to put him in the back room, which is separated from the front desk/lobby area by a dutch door (when I am trying to clean the floor, for example). Most of our clients are shocked to see how much of him is visible when he pops up to see what I am doing on the other side of the door.

Like in this picture.

 

My toes are cold (with photo)

Me: It’s cold today & my toes are freezing. I should probably put on some slippers or get under the blanket or something.

Selby: I have a better idea. Let me keep your feet warm by sleeping on them.

Emerson: I will help raise your core temperature by using your belly as a pillow.

Me: Thanks guys.

Emerson: Anytime.

Selby: *snore*

Emerson: She said you’re welcome.

** Original post from October 22, 2011

Alarm clock

Alarm: Buzz buzz buzz

Me: *snooze button*

Selby: Excuse me Mama, but your alarm went off. That means you need to get up now.

Me: Go away.

Selby: Okay you asked for it. *touches cold nose to bare skin*

Me: eeeek! Okay I’m up!

Selby: Works every time.

**Original post from October 18, 2011

How my pets deal with cold and loneliness

Lord Dormir: The air is rather chilly tonight.

Sir Oliver: And Adele is at a friend’s house for a sleepover.

Selby: And Papa’s at work.

Emerson: You know what that means…

Everyone: PIG PILE ON MAMA!!!!!!!

Me: Mmpphhlmpph.

**Original post from October 14, 2011

Cuddle Time

Me: Here Lord Dormir. Cuddle time!

Emerson: Oh boy did someone say cuddle time? Here I come! *jumps on bed*

Me: Um…actually I was talking to Lord Dormir

Emerson: Close enough.

Lord Dormir: I beg your pardon sir. You are in my spot.

Emerson: Like I care.

Lord Dormir: Well I never! I’d rather sit over here anyway. I could totally make you move if I wanted to.

Emerson: Oh yeah? You and what claws?

Lord Dormir: That was a low blow.

**Original post from October 13, 2011

Serious business

Emerson: Want to hear a knock knock joke?

Me: Sure.

Emerson: Knock, knock.

Me: Who’s there?

Emerson: Scratch my neck.

Me: Scratch my neck who?

Emerson: Scratch my neck or I’ll slobber on you!

Me: That wasn’t much a joke.

Emerson: I know. Itches are serious business. Get scratching.

**Original post from October 11, 2011

I guess dogs can have OCD too

Me: Fetch, Milo!

Milo: Yippee! I will get that ball! *stares at ball on ground* Um…

Me: Bring it here Milo!

Milo: *paws at ball, pushes around with his nose* I can’t pick it up yet.

Me: Why not?

Milo: *pushes ball with foot* It’s not right-side up.

Me: What? It’s a ball!

Milo: Yeah but I can’t pick it up with the stripes pointing this direction. I have to fix it first.

Me: ….

**Original story from October 10, 2011

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