Emerson: What’s that in your hand Mama?
Me: It’s a hot dog.
Selby: What are you going to do with it?
Me: I was planning on eating it.
Selby: Oh. Well, we’re right here if you change your mind.
Emerson: Yes, we are right beside you. You know, just in case you don’t think you can finish the whole thing.
Me: Pretty sure I can manage.
Selby: Okay. But just so you know.
Emerson: Also, I’m more than qualified when it comes to eating. See how well I open and close my mouth?
Emerson: *om nom nom*
Me: What are you doing now?
Emerson: Just practicing my chewing. *om nom nom nom*
Me: Hello Emerson! Would you like to sit up on the bed with me?
Emerson: Sort of.
Me: I don’t think you can “sort of” sit on the bed. Either you’re on the bed or you’re not.
Emerson: Of course I can sort of be on the bed. Watch. *steps onto bed with front feet and lies down, but leaves back feet on the floor.* See?
Me: Well I guess I was wrong. But that can’t really be that comfortable.
Emerson: Wrong again! It’s very cozy! Though it would be even cozier if someone would scratch my neck.
Me: Okay guys, time to go back to work. Into your kennels.
Emerson: Okay! *galumph, galumph*
Selby: Um. Mama? He went in MY kennel.
Me: Why don’t you go in his kennel? It’s bigger anyway.
Selby: But his pillows are arranged all wrong and it doesn’t smell like me!
Selby: Nope, there’s only one solution to this problem. *goes in her kennel with Emerson*
Emerson: Oof. Kinda crowded in here.
Me: OMG I need a picture of this.
Emerson: Ok fine I’ll go in my own kennel. Just don’t take a picture.
Me: I wish my camera didn’t take so long to start up. The internet would have loved that one.
** Original post from October 25, 2011
Today Emerson is making an appearance on a friend’s blog, doing something he does regularly when we’re at the groomer’s. He always likes to be wherever I am, but sometimes he is just gets in the way so I have to put him in the back room, which is separated from the front desk/lobby area by a dutch door (when I am trying to clean the floor, for example). Most of our clients are shocked to see how much of him is visible when he pops up to see what I am doing on the other side of the door.
Me: It’s cold today & my toes are freezing. I should probably put on some slippers or get under the blanket or something.
Selby: I have a better idea. Let me keep your feet warm by sleeping on them.
Emerson: I will help raise your core temperature by using your belly as a pillow.
Me: Thanks guys.
Emerson: She said you’re welcome.
** Original post from October 22, 2011
Alarm: Buzz buzz buzz
Me: *snooze button*
Selby: Excuse me Mama, but your alarm went off. That means you need to get up now.
Me: Go away.
Selby: Okay you asked for it. *touches cold nose to bare skin*
Me: eeeek! Okay I’m up!
Selby: Works every time.
**Original post from October 18, 2011
Lord Dormir: The air is rather chilly tonight.
Sir Oliver: And Adele is at a friend’s house for a sleepover.
Selby: And Papa’s at work.
Emerson: You know what that means…
Everyone: PIG PILE ON MAMA!!!!!!!
**Original post from October 14, 2011
Me: Here Lord Dormir. Cuddle time!
Emerson: Oh boy did someone say cuddle time? Here I come! *jumps on bed*
Me: Um…actually I was talking to Lord Dormir
Emerson: Close enough.
Lord Dormir: I beg your pardon sir. You are in my spot.
Emerson: Like I care.
Lord Dormir: Well I never! I’d rather sit over here anyway. I could totally make you move if I wanted to.
Emerson: Oh yeah? You and what claws?
Lord Dormir: That was a low blow.
**Original post from October 13, 2011
Emerson: Want to hear a knock knock joke?
Emerson: Knock, knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Emerson: Scratch my neck.
Me: Scratch my neck who?
Emerson: Scratch my neck or I’ll slobber on you!
Me: That wasn’t much a joke.
Emerson: I know. Itches are serious business. Get scratching.
**Original post from October 11, 2011
Me: Fetch, Milo!
Milo: Yippee! I will get that ball! *stares at ball on ground* Um…
Me: Bring it here Milo!
Milo: *paws at ball, pushes around with his nose* I can’t pick it up yet.
Me: Why not?
Milo: *pushes ball with foot* It’s not right-side up.
Me: What? It’s a ball!
Milo: Yeah but I can’t pick it up with the stripes pointing this direction. I have to fix it first.
**Original story from October 10, 2011