Monthly Archives: January, 2012

Thirsty

Sir Oliver: I am thirsty. *laplaplap*
Me: Hey! I was drinking from that glass!
Sir Oliver: I told you I am THIRSTY. *laplaplap*
Me: What’s wrong with the water in that dish?
Sir Oliver: There is dog slobber in it.
Me: Okay, I refilled all the water dishes with fresh water. Please stop drinking from my water glass.
Sir Oliver: You do not have a water glass. Everything in this house is mine. *laplaplap*

**Originally posted on Facebook July 9, 2011

Big Baby

Me: Would you like to go outside?
Dogs: Yes yes yes!
Me: *opens door* Wow, it’s raining really hard.
Selby: Um. We don’t really have to go that badly.
Emerson: Speak for yourself, you big baby. *steps outside.* Yeah. I guess I don’t have to go after all. *comes back inside*

**Originally posted on Facebook June 26, 2011

Unfashionable

Me: Lord Dormir! I have something for you!
Lord Dormir: What is it?
Me: It’s a t-shirt.
Lord Dormir: … Why in the hairball would you get me a t-shirt?
Me: I got it for you so you won’t be cold with your short fur. Here you go.
Lord Dormir: I’m not wearing that.
Me: Why not?
Lord Dormir: Well to begin with, that green color clashes horribly with my beautiful orange fur. Secondly, those horizontal stripes make me look fat. Thirdly, the label says it is for dogs.
Me: I know it’s pretty ugly, but it was only a dollar and I wasn’t about to spend a bunch of money on something if you were just going to take it off like you do with your collar. If you keep it on then I will buy you something more flattering.
Lord Dormir: I will wear it as long as you continue petting me. Beyond that I will make no guarantees.

Need More Ice?

Ice Machine: Would you like some more ice in that cup?
Me: No thanks. I’m just walking by.
Ice machine: are you sure? I have lots.
Me: No, really. I’m fine.
Ice machine: Okay.
Me: Bye.
Ice Machine: But here’s some ice anyway just in case you change your mind. *spits ice onto floor*
Me: Thanks.

** Originally posted on Facebook on Dec 13, 2010

Serious Cat is Serious

Sir Oliver: Hey. A little attention over here. =ò.ó=
Me: *takes picture*
Sir Oliver: Seriously? You know that is not what I meant.
Me: Of course you know that I will be putting this on the blog.
Sir Oliver: =ò.ó=
image

I will fix that

My friend Jillayne: Hi Cat.

Lord Dormir: You don’t smell like a cat.

Jillayne: I know. That’s because I’m a person and I don’t have cats at home.

Lord Dormir: That’s okay. I will share my cat smell with you.

Jillayne: No, thank you. Actually I’m really allergic to cats.

Lord Dormir: That’s too bad. I will fix that by rubbing my face on your face.

**Originally posted on Facebook July 9, 2011

Later

Lord Dormir: Hi Kari. I am going to nap on your chest now.

Me: It’s far too hot for cuddling. Go away please.

Lord Dormir: Okay, I will come back later.

*45 seconds later*

Lord Dormir: It’s later. I am going to nap on your chest now.

** originally posted on Facebook July 7, 2011

Cat Truth

Ian: *watching movie*
Sir Oliver: =o.o=
Ian: *watching movie*
Sir Oliver: Ahem.
Ian: Yes?
Sir Oliver: You need to be paying attention to me now.
Ian: I’ve been home sick all day. Why is it suddenly so important that I pay attention you right now?
Sir Oliver: Attention is better when you get it by interrupting someone who is doing something else. It is a universally known cat truth.
Ian: I see.
Sir Oliver: Don’t make me stick my head in your armpit again. Because I absolutely will do it.
Ian: Okay okay okay. *petpetpet*

What time is it?

Lord Dormir: Kari thank goodness you are home!
Sir Oliver: It’s about time. Did you drive home by way of Canada or what?
Me: Well I had to stop at the store first to get cough medicine for Son and a few other things.
Sir Oliver: Well, I have been twitching my tail here for 30 minutes wondering where in the catnip you have been. Honestly, you are so selfish.
Lord Dormir: So anyway, this is the way to my food dish. Follow me.
Sir Oliver: No, THIS is the way to MY food dish. Follow ME.
Me: Well, why don’t you two play rock paper scissors or something while I put this stuff away.
Lord Dormir: Kari you know we don’t have fingers and thumbs so obviously that game is impossible for us to play.
Sir Oliver: Yes, it would just be rock rock rock, and that’s pretty pointless.
Me: So is nagging me to follow you when you know it’s Daughter who feeds you.
Lord Dormir: Well, I never.
Sir Oliver: The insults never end.

Training

Sir Oliver: =o.o=
Ian: Hello Sir Oliver!
Sir Oliver: Your blanket. I need to be under it with you.
Ian: But I’m not under the blanket. I’m sitting on top of it.
Sir Oliver: I will forgive your oversight if you let me under your sweatshirt.
Ian: I’m not wearing a sweatshirt either. Just a t-shirt.
Sir Oliver: =ò.ó=
Ian: Sorry.
Sir Oliver: I cannot accept your meager apologies. Obviously you will require additional training. I never have this difficulty when Kari is in the bed.
Ian: That’s probably because Kari is always cold and I am always warm. Why are you sticking your head in my armpit?
Sir Oliver: I am trying to make do with what’s available.
Ian: Well, it’s kind of awkward.
Sir Oliver: You should have thought about that when you decided not to be under the blanket.

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