Emerson: What’s the matter Mama? You don’t seem like yourself.
Me: I don’t feel well today. I came home early from work because I’m sick.
Me: Emerson! Selby! Come inside!
Emerson: Okay Mama! *galumph galumph*
Selby: I cannot hear you. I am busy sniffing the snow and pretending not to hear you.
Emerson: I really want to snuggle with you Mama.
Me: You know I always appreciate a cuddle from you Emerson. Come on up on the bed.
Emerson: I dont know Mama. I want to cuddle but I don’t really like to be on the furniture because I get too warm.
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Me: *waking up* UGH. What time is it?
Clock: It is 3:45 AM.
Me: Man, it is really cold outside.
Selby: Did you say “OUTSIDE”? I like to go outside! Can I please go outside?
Me: Okay but it’s 16 degrees below zero. That’s very cold.
WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS WHEN I LET THE DOGS OUTSIDE:
Selby: YES PLEASE!
Emerson: Okay I guess.
*A few minutes later*
Emerson: Okay I’m done can I come in now?
Me: Yes you can come in. Selby, time to come inside.
Selby: Oh. Okay I guess. *pout*
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LET THE DOGS OUTSIDE JUST BEFORE I GO OUT OF TOWN WITHOUT THEM:
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Emerson: OMG THERE WAS A NOISE IN THE KITCHEN I HAVE TO SEE WHAT IT WAS THERE IS NOTHING IN HERE BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
Me: Emerson the doorbell sound is in the kitchen, but it means there’s someone at the front door. It’s probably the washing machine repair guy. *opens front door*
Repair guy: Hello.
Emerson: OMG THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR DON’T WORRY MAMA I WILL PROTECT YOU BARKBARKBARK
Me: Hey Emerson, are you ready for tomorrow?
Emerson: I don’t know. What’s tomorrow? Do I have to take a bath? If so, then NO I am not ready.
Me: No bath, I promise. Tomorrow is the Jingle Bell run/walk for Arthritis. We’re walking a 5K to help raise money for the Arthritis Foundation. I bought this reindeer hat and jingle bell collar for you to wear tomorrow.[*picture below]
Emerson: That is a very silly hat. I am not wearing that in public.
Me: Yes it is silly, but that’s part of the fun! This is a very important cause for me because several of my loved ones have arthritis. Our goal is to raise $150 towards our team’s fund.
Emerson: That’s a lot of money!
Me: It’s a lot of money for one person, but if everyone I know contributes a few dollars, then we can raise that money in no time! All they have to do is click on this link, then click on the “General team donation” link, then follow the instructions on the screen to donate.
Emerson: That doesn’t sound too hard, as long as they have opposable thumbs. And a bank account. With money in it. I don’t have any of those things so I can’t donate money. But if we can raise $150, then I will let you post a picture of me wearing that silly reindeer hat.
Me: It’s a deal!
**If you want to see Emerson wearing this hat, please click on the picture to donate to my team. Be sure to use the “General Team donation” link so Emerson knows when we reach our goal!
It was between this and a Santa hat with a beard, but since Emerson is already roughly the size of a small reindeer, I decided this was the obvious choice.