Lord Dormir, certified sleep therapist
Lord Dormir: What are you doing?
Me: Um, sitting in bed, playing games on my phone. Also, Facebook and Twitter.
Lord Dormir: Studies have shown that using electronic devices prior to bedtime makes it more difficult to fall asleep and can lead to insomnia. Just saying.
Me: What studies? Name one.
Lord Dormir: Cat studies. I’m sure you wouldn’t have heard of them. Very well-respected among cats.
Me: Uh-huh.
Lord Dormir: Studies have also shown that petting cats is relaxing, and can therefore help cure insomnia.
Sir Oliver: It is known.
Me: Right. I’ll just be getting back to what I was doing then.
Lord Dormir: If you’re not going to make a serious effort to sleep, then I’m going to nap on your pillow.
Me: Do you have to take up the WHOLE pillow?
Lord Dormir: Yes. Otherwise, how will you learn?
The Orange Dagger demonstrates his greatest superpower
Invisibility, obviously.
The League of Extraordinary Cuteness (cartoon)
Secret Identity: Lord Dormir
Secret Identity: Emerson
Secret Identity: Selby
Secret Identity: Sir Oliver
Closed/Open
Me: Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.
Sir Oliver: HEY! This door is closed. I need that door to be open.
Me: Kinda busy in here Sir Oliver.
Sir Oliver: Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I need this door open.
Me: Quit sticking your paw under the door. I’m almost done. I just need to wash my hands. *opens door*
Sir Oliver: Thank GOODNESS you’re done. I thought that door was never going to open again. Well, see you later.
Me: Wait! All that fuss about the door being closed, and you don’t even want to go in there now that it’s open?
Sir Oliver: I never said I wanted to go in there. I just said I needed the door open, and now it’s open. My work here is done.
Artist’s Block
Selby: What’s wrong Mama?
Me: I can’t seem to shake this artist’s block. I want to draw more cartoons, but I can’t seem to finish anything.
Emerson: Ugh, I know just what you mean. Sometimes I really want to scratch an itch but I just can’t reach it.
Me: Um, yeah – sort of like that. My friend Cherish put this drawing on Facebook today to encourage me:
Amanda Goes Home
Amanda: Well, I guess I better head out now. I have to work early tomorrow.
Me: Okay. Thanks for visiting!
Emerson & Selby: Ooo, you’re jingling keys. Keys mean The Car! Are we going somewhere? Let’s go let’s go LETSGO!
Permission: The cat’s poison
Me: *still wearing my coat after coming home from work* Hello, Sir Oliver! Good to see you.
Sir Oliver: Yes yes, hello etc. You humans always have to waste time with pleasantries don’t you?
Sir Oliver’s needs are non-negotiable
Me: *watching The Muppet Show with the kids.*
Sir Oliver: =o.o=
Me: Can I help you with something?
Sir Oliver: Your sweater.
Feline Bromance at its finest
Sir Oliver: I believe it is time for me to lounge here on the bed.
Lord Dormir: Pardon me, you appear to need some grooming.
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We wear braces now (cartoon)
My daughter got braces on Wednesday. We knew this would be tough for her, even though she was looking forward to it, so the pets and I got together and made this cartoon for her: Continue reading →
